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When Shared Custody Becomes the New Normal

I hope you and yours are doing well! I thought I’d speak about something that comes up quite often among my clients who are separated or divorced: how to best spend time with their children when shared custody becomes the new normal. 


The adage quality over quantity certainly applies here, and I wanted to share some key things to consider so you can optimize time with your kids:


  • Keep it simple. Lunch dates and intentional conversations about what’s going on in their lives can carry more weight than extravagant trips or events.  

  • Remain undistracted. Putting away your phone and not fielding work calls during your time with your kids will make them feel as though they are important, especially as their lives are changing. 

  • Avoid venting. Share your feelings with others in your support system-friends, other adults in your family, or a therapist–but not your children. Don’t put them in the middle of any conflicts you may have with the other parent.

  • Be consistent. Establish rules that are implemented in both parents’ homes. Concrete guidelines for things like homework, curfews, bedtimes, and bad behavior will provide stability for your children.

  • Develop a shared interest. Having shared experiences with your kids will help build your relationship and establish memories that will last a lifetime. 


As you move through this phase in your life, I hope these ideas help you make the most of the time you and your kids spend together. As always, please reach out if you have any questions or need legal counsel.